If there’s anything The Wiz has taught me, it’s that scary things live in the subway.
When I am in Manhattan, you can bet I am on an assignment adventure. This time, I accepted an invitation from Gordon Ramsay’s London Bar NYC to try their Fashion Week-themed drinks.
My mother and I headed out from the Millennium Hotel in Times Square for a chilly walk that day, talking the long way ’round in hopes of shoving some New York sights into our eyeballs before grabbing drinks on Chef Ramsay’s dime. Little did we know, our journey to complimentary cocktails would be a gauntlet of giant man-eating dolls and shiny wild animals.
Since we were in NYC during fashion week, I was expecting to see some of the best window displays along 5th Avenue. The above Armani shop was inspiring; decked out in hearts and nothing but breathtaking.
However, this little lady was lurking just down the street:
And by ‘little lady’, I mean a 10 foot tall Blythe doll. Check out the security guard standing next to her. Oh, thanks, Bottega Veneta. You’ve erased all fear of street crime from my brain, because now I’ve got this reality to deal with.
It was unsettling, until I realized that her friends were lurking just a few steps away. Then my brain broke: Nope nope nope nope.
All I can think of is what their blinking must sound like. Suddenly, I’m in a dark alley. Click-clack. Squeeeak. Good thing their proportions would make running virtually impossible. They’d canter forward unsteadily, and then crumple into a ball of bouncing, breaking plastic, rolling down the sidewalk and into a subway stairwell.
If there’s anything The Wiz has taught me, it’s that scary things live in the subway:
Later, we crossed paths into another realm; an ethereal world of gossamer dreams, glimmering secrets, and overpriced accessories:
Draped in purses, shoes, sunglasses and scarves, these animals somehow seemed more naked than a Yogi Bear. Maybe it was the because they were shiny? Shiny in an obscene way, somehow. Put some pants on, you animals!
If you know where these were, let me know. They were life-sized and absolutely beautiful. Almost enough to bleach my brain the Blythe nightmare fuel down the street.
Time to See the Wizard
After fighting our way though the jungle of horror and whimsy, we arrived at the London Bar in need of a hard drink or four.
Our selections included the London Red Carpet, Little Black Dress, and Haute Toddy (get it? get it? Fashion week!)
My favorite drink at the London Bar, by far, was the Haute Toddy. Incidentally, my husband, Mr. Todd, makes regular ol’ ‘Hot Toddys’ for me back at home, so I may have been a bit biased. That, and the Haute Toddy was a hot drink, and the warmth of my soul had just been sucked out by our cold Manhattan walk and the sleepless evil of Blythe.
Even though I’m a fan of drinking my dinner, we ordered a plate of $11 french fries. This beat my previous single french fry order record of $9. Hey, when you give an Irish lady some spending money, she’s likely to go buy whiskey and potatoes. Just saying. Since my whiskey was free, the fries seemed like a downright bargain (no).
London Bar NYC’s ‘Stylish Sips’ Top Four:
- Haute Toddy: After a long walk in the cold, a Haute Toddy was hands-down our favorite. Boozed up with plenty of whiskey, this spin on an old favorite had just enough citrus to keep the taste light.
- Little Black Dress: This one is a chocolatey Kahlua drink served over ice with a cherry. Though it was a dessert drink, this one wasn’t too rich, diluted enough to keep it tasting clean.
- London Red Carpet: This crimson beverage was fruit-punchy, but not sickly sweet. However, it was supposed to be spicy, but lacked the kick that i was expecting.
- Glamazon: This one comes in last, just because it didn’t have as strong a theme or ‘gimmick’ as the first three. Spicy, chocolaty, and hot are hard to compete with when you’re just a fruity seabreeze.